PAY IT FORWARD
Kyla Mowrer and Britney Calkin tell their story on this Podcast Episode, Gestational Surrogacy. Reflections of motherhood through surrogacy with Britney and Kyla, both residents of Washington state, USA. Surrogacy Episode
Kyla puts this journey in poetic words,
“This journey is really about two human beings coming together at the most human level possible and sharing the vulnerability and sharing your fear, your courage. Accepting it and also accepting help in the most human of ways.”
“People are angels in different ways. Britney, who carried my son to term, is our angel on earth.”
Kyla goes on to say,
“I would have given anything to be carrying my own child and as elated as I was there was still a token of grief. I didn't get to feel the kicks and the baby moving but I was so incredibly grateful for her gift of surrogacy.”
“As I went through the process I did think a lot about my kids. I hope that my kids will take something positive away from this and other people too.”
“To just pay it forward is great and it doesn't have to be something like having a baby for somebody else. But I hope my own journey inspires others to pay it forward whatever it is to them and however it is.”
The technical term for what the two families participated in is called gestational surrogacy or gestational carrier. Britney was the carrier for this process.
Kyla and Mark created biological embryos of theirs that were frozen. Through in vitro there was hope but that hope continued to crash through each failed attempt and miscarriages.
The couple looked into adoption but Kyla knew she had embryos that were potential biological children for she and Mark. Seeing the very last hope through surrogacy, a close friend became an angel on earth.
The two gals are separated by several years but they grew up on the same lane and in married years they actually ended up living next door to one another.
Living next door, Britney watched the failed attempts unfold as Mark and Kyla’s hearts continued to break. She later would console Kyla from a distance as she and her husband moved to California.
“God was with me one day in California while I sobbed in my car for Kyla and Mark,” said Britney. She sat and prayed and cried and then felt a force within herself say that she could do this for her friends.
Through research and chats with her gynecologist Britney learned about the surrogacy process and the risks. Her husband was fully supportive of this as were her parents and family members.
At the time, Britney had a toddler and an infant. When the time was right she and her husband would offer their plan of surrogacy to Mark and Britney.
TIMING IS EVERYTHING
With the time not being right with career changes and the healing of Britney’s body from her previous pregnancy, she took the time to process the risks and the outcomes. Britney prayed and felt a greater force throughout this process.
Timing couldn’t be better when Britney’s husband’s career change brought them back to Washington state in the USA. Fate again would find the two families neighbors again.
Britney met with her dear friend Kyla and laid out her gestational carrier offer to her. Kyla was overwhelmed to say the least but also elated. She humbly accepted the offer once the two discussed all of the risks and Kyla felt comfortable that her friend understood the risks to her own uterus.
Immediately the process was under way with again, failed attempts. With the last attempt Britney said that ‘little Daniel’ stayed with us and I carried him to term.”
Kyla very lovingly says,
“Britney carried my pain and we shared joy and just at the most basic human level. I think that is the other really amazing outcome of this process is to be intimately connected to another person with something like this has just been a really special relationship.”
Listen to Britney Calkina and Kyla Mowrer share their journey on the podcast!
Britney sums up her journey with these words,
“I feel like there is a selfish reward for me every time I see little Daniel. I am reminded of something great that I did in this lifetime and I feel really good about that. That is not a bad thing at all.”